Loving Couple

Marriage Counselling

“I should have become an "I" before I became a "we".”

Possible relationship issues that we deal with may be
  • Communication difficulties

  • Frequent arguments

  • Feeling disconnected or drifting apart

  • Different expectations or values

  • Infidelity or affairs

  • Financial stress or career pressures

  • Conflict about drug or alcohol use

  • Conflict about children or extended family

  • Loss of desire or mismatched sexual needs

  • Lack of intimacy

  • Disagreements about parenting style

  • Unfulfilled emotional needs, feeling neglected or hurt

  • Insecurity, trust issues and jealousy

“To love means to be actively concerned for the life and the growth of another..”

 

  • Are you scared that your relationship is beyond help?

  • Do you wonder ‘does marriage counselling work?’

  • Do you find yourself caught up in behaviour you find unacceptable?

  • Are you with a controlling husband or a controlling wife?

  • Are you struggling to come to terms with a significant life change?

  • Do you know what you ‘should’ be doing but struggle to do it?

  • Are you regularly saying or thinking ‘I want a divorce.’

"Love is not just a passion spark between two people; there is infinite difference between falling in love and standing in love. Rather, love is a way of being, a "giving to," not a 'falling for"; a mode of relating at large, not an act limited to a single person."

 

 

You’re hoping to avoid the long term emotional, relational and potential financial consequences resulting from separation and divorce. If you have children you’re also terrified of the long term emotional impact on them. 

 

 “Mature love is loving, not being loved.”
We seem to have a flawed idea about why we choose our spouse. Mother nature fills many gaps when it comes to choosing. Moreover, we also tend to fill the remaining of the gaps with expectations and therefore there is no surprise we struggle.  
 
Part of being a grown up in your relationship is the awareness that every human being will frustrate, disappoint and anger us at times. Without meaning to, we will hurt our loved one back. That will leave scars in the relationship that may never heal or slowly damage it without a chance of repair. Counselling can help healing those wounds and help moving forward. More than often is best if a couple sees a counsellor before marriage.

Therefore...

Deciding to ‘get married’ is one of life’s significant decisions. And the consequences are far reaching – emotional, financial, legal and familial. Marriage provides the chance for a distinctive and sublime form of intimacy, but can also be fraught with challenges, both small and large. When a couple decides to share their lives, differences need to be considered, and compromises made. After a while, differences in culture, religion, spending habits, domesticity, sociability, behaviour and emotional responses have the capacity to cause disharmony. These differences require acceptance and resolution to enable a happy marriage to continue through the years.
Pre-Marriage Counselling  can help identify your differences and value conflicts, before marriage, and can provide couples with tools and processes to help overcome the inevitable issues and challenges of marriage when they do arise.

Chatting with Watershed Counselling can help .

In therapy we discuss:

  • Resentment when expectations are repeatedly not met over time

  • Communication difficulties between partners

  • Putting the “we” back into the relationship

  • Difficulty emotionally connecting together

  • Painful emotional sensitivities triggered in the relationship

  • Repetitive and constant themes during conflicts together

  • High levels of conflict in the relationship

  • Mismatched desires and needs in the relationship

  • Anxiety around being open and honest to your partner

  • Feelings of loneliness and isolation in the relationship

  • Making time for scheduling one-on-one romantic time together

  • Betrayal or infidelity in your relationship

  • Struggles in navigating the integration of one another’s families

  • Questioning or considering separation or ending the relationship.

Tips to Avoid Resentment Building

  1. Don’t stew on your anger. Communicate in a constructive, positive manner straight away

  2. Practice listening. Hear between the lines, and understand what your partner is really saying

  3. Monitor your relationships health. Go on regular dates, and numerous small trips rather than one big holiday. Take time to be together alone with no distractions. This is when you have real communication.

When you can't visit our office getting on the phone or having a video chat with us can help stabilize your family during holydays.

 

Being cramped in the house together can be hard enough without having to manage school, work, time together, time apart, exercise, cooking and everything else that goes into running a home. We can help. I have been making “video calls" by doing therapy through Zoom, Skype and FaceTime this year, and I am experienced with the stages of distance therapy with families.

 

When you are ready to talk,

Call me for 15 minutes free talk 0491 767 943 or fill up the form in the contact heading.