Emotionally Connecting Questions

Updated: Apr 24

My kids have days when they just don't feel like talking. When they return from school I always say "I missed you soo much". Most of the time they are tired/angry/hungry/thirsty and can't be bothered talking. It happens to me as well after a long day at work.

A couple of months ago my youngest son came back from school crying because his favourite teacher raised his voice towards him. I said to myself that it was the end of the term and teaching during Covid Pandemic must have been hard for all teachers. On the other side, my son was absolutely devastated and embarrassed by his mistake. I hugged him and allowed him to release his anger and pain. When he finished crying and self-deprecating himself, he told me the details of the story. He was so angry with himself. I felt very sad for him and showed him my compassion. He told me he was ashamed to look at his teacher's eyes ever again. This event happened in the car after pick up. Later on, we picked up his older brother. His brother saw that he cried. He wasn't too keen to talk and we all rode back home quietly.

The next day the teacher apologized and this was a massive relief for him.

I respect and love my sons.

I think of these questions for inspiration to connect with them and others when they don't have anything new to share:

What was your favourite part about (your day/the meal/the concert/etc.)?

What do you miss most about (a person/former home/city/job/etc.)?

When you felt sad when you were a child, who did you go to for comfort?

How do you know you enjoyed (the movie/the hike/summer camp as a kid/etch?) What were the feelings like?

What do you feel most proud of about (an accomplishment)?

What do your religion/spiritual beliefs mean to you?

When you think about (your chosen politician) getting elected, what feels reassuring?

Do you have mixed feelings about (a person / job / situation / experience /etc.)?

What feels better to you, being agreed with, or being understood?

If you could meet anyone dead or alive, who would you meet?

If you could give the world anything, what would you give it?

If you could only eat for the rest of your life, what would it be?

What was your favourite childhood book?

What’s your favourite thing about yourself?

What’s your favourite thing about your family?

What is your favourite memory of us?

Is there something outside of school you would love to learn?

Happy Easter!

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